i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
