Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
