was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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