I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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