70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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