Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
