im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
