I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
