Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
