She's JV to your varsity
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
