Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
