If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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