I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
