there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
