Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
