dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
