Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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