Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
