Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
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Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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