she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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