my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
