another moral hangover. fuck.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
