Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize