you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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