Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and she was petting her beer can
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
