she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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