You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize