i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
