is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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