They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
