i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
