it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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