i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
