Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
