I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
