I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
