How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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