her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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