she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You are a genius and a whore.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
