This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I see more hoeing in ur future
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
