I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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