Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
