I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
