in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The uberlube is also flammable
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
