Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
