fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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