Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
