My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
