Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
