Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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