Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
