Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
