Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
