If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
