ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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