Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
