Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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