I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
