I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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