Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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