Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i need some magic done to my vagina
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
