I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize