Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
