A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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