there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
